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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443791">Majestic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lack_of_Common_Sense/pseuds/Lack_of_Common_Sense'>Lack_of_Common_Sense</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gintama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adorable, Adorkable, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, CEO, Cute, Eventual Romance, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Humor, M/M, Oblivious, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Over the Top, Ridiculous, Roommates, Sexy, Sugar Daddy, Sweet, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, creep-o-factor 3/10, density 7/10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:41:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lack_of_Common_Sense/pseuds/Lack_of_Common_Sense</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugar daddy/fake dating AU.<br/>On a snowy morning, Hijikata Toshiro brought a homeless man by the name of Sakata Gintoki to his flat with the intention to use him to get rid of certain people's romantic advances. This should be a win-win situation; Hijikata gets rid of those he wants nothing to do with, and Gintoki is no longer forced to live on the streets. However...</p><p>(can't believe I started another one and I blame DukeOfNone for giving me an excellent prompt)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>173</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=DukeOfNone">DukeOfNone</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was snowing heavily that day.</p><p>Falling snowflakes, swirling in the wind, seemed to smother all sounds in their white coldness, and as they piled up on the ground quietly, they resembled pillows – fluffy, clean and welcoming.</p><p>The park was silent. It was quite early in the morning.</p><p>A man appeared at the edge of the park. The snow made soft creaking sounds under his polished shoes, and in the freezing air, small puffs of fog were rising from his scarf-covered mouth. The snowflakes that got caught in his black hair looked kind of like stars.</p><p>He made his way to a bench upon which a strangely high pile of snow was resting.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>The pile groaned and sat up. As the snow fell off, it uncovered another pile, this time made up of dirty blankets. Under those, there was a puff of white hair, blending in with the snowy scenery behind the bench. “What?” the pile said in a disgruntled tone. “Can’t a man sleep in peace?”</p><p>“Are you trying to freeze to death?”</p><p>“No? I’m fine.” The pile moved more and some of the blankets fell, revealing the face of the person speaking. It was a man with the face of someone who had not seen a proper meal for several days; his nose was red and skin pale, with dark circles under his eyes. His lips were chapped and slightly trembling.</p><p>“The hell you are,” the black-haired man leaned closer. “Somebody’s going to call the cops on you if you keep this up.”</p><p>“The park is a public space, Oogushi-kun,” the other said, sniffling as he rubbed his nose. “Now, go home, since you clearly have one to go to unlike some of us.”</p><p>The black-haired man hesitated briefly. “Oogushi?”</p><p>“Your jacket.” There was a sneeze.</p><p>“How about this,” the black-haired man said, folding his arms on his chest. “I’ll go home – and I’ll take you with me.”</p><p>“What, d’you think I’m a lost puppy?” the other started wrapping himself back up in his blankets again. “You’re a fishy one, there’s no way I’m coming with you.”</p><p>“It’s true that I have another motive,” the black-haired man admitted. “You’ll only benefit from it, though. I’ll give you food and a place to stay, and I won’t ask you to do anything shady.”</p><p>There was a pause, filled only with the sound of someone’s teeth gently chattering. “Promise?”</p><p>“I promise,” the black-haired man nodded. “The name’s Hijikata Toshiro. If you call me Oogushi again, the deal’s off.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. No Longer on the Streets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Take your shoes off,” Hijikata said sternly.</p><p>“Someone’s living the high life, huh?” the homeless man was looking around; he stood frozen by the entrance, wide-eyed, and only when Hijikata spoke to him did he take his shoes off and walked in.</p><p>“Go shower for now.” Hijikata’s back was turned to the homeless man as he walked over to his coat rack and started taking his scarf off. “It’s the door down the hall.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re aiming for my body,” the man made an overly shocked gesture, speaking in falsetto.</p><p>“You stink,” Hijikata glanced over his shoulders. “I won’t be sharing my place who smells like he slept inside a trash can. Feel free to use whatever you find in there.”</p><p>The man gave a short chuckle and turned to head into the bathroom. Hijikata hung his scarf and coat, then he glanced at the way the man he’d just brought home left his shoes, sighed, and went to straighten them up. He still wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but for now, it was his best shot.</p><p>Quietly, he walked into the bathroom; the shower stall was fogged up, and the man in it was too preoccupied to notice. Hijikata gathered up the filthy clothes haphazardly strewn about the floor, and after a moment’s thought, instead of throwing them into the laundry, he decided it would be better to dispose of those dirty rags altogether. Thus, he brought out some plastic bags, carefully wrapped all of it up, and left it sitting on the floor by the entrance. Then, he finally changed his clothes, wanting to wear something cleaner and more comfortable.</p><p>Just as he was making himself coffee, his new addition to his place walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips, with a trail of water droplets behind him. “What did you do with my clothes?”</p><p>Hijikata didn’t answer right away; instead, he slowly eyed him from head to toe. “You won’t be needing them,” he said, shrugging.</p><p>“Oi, oi – are you telling me that you want me to walk around naked?”</p><p>“They were dirty, and you just walked out of the shower. I’ll lend you something before we work that part out.” Hijikata’s tone was indifferent. “Coffee?”</p><p>“I’ll have some.” Still mostly naked and very wet, the man sat down on Hijikata’s couch and leaned back, sighing heavily. “So?” he said. “You gonna tell me why you dragged me in here, or is it a secret? I know it’s not because you need a roommate or some shit like that.”</p><p>Hijikata hesitated briefly. “You’re right,” he admitted then. “I have a different reason.” He grabbed a spoon, opened the fridge and squatted by it; reaching for a bottle of mayonnaise, he added, “I’m going to explain, and if you don’t agree to it, you’re welcome to walk out.” There was a brief pause, then Hijikata finally turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen corner, holding two mugs of coffee in one hand carefully and a mayonnaise bottle and a spoon in the other. He set the coffee down on the coffee table, and pushed one of the mugs towards the other.</p><p>“What’s your name?” he said.</p><p>“… Sakata Gintoki,” the white-haired man replied.</p><p>“Right.” Hijikata nodded as he uncapped the mayonnaise bottle and squeezed some of its contents onto the spoon, then he licked it off. “So, Gintoki,” he then leaned back with his coffee in his hand, “what do you <em>think</em> I brought you here for?”</p><p>“What do I know about rich people’s whims?” Gintoki shrugged. “I figured you wanted something. You don’t strike me as the charitable type.”</p><p>Hijikata chuckled bitterly. “Yes, well, you’re not wrong. Let me be upfront, then.” He took a sip of coffee, then set the mug down and folded his arms across his chest.</p><p>“I’ll let you stay here, provide you with food and clothes – and money – in exchange for pretending to be my lover.”</p><p>Gintoki choked on his coffee. “You want me to do <em>what</em>?” he asked once he could breathe again.</p><p>“You heard me.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“For convenience,” Hijikata replied. “If I have a male lover, I can reject certain people’s advances <em>and </em>get rid of them for good. If you don’t like it, the door is right there, and I won’t ever contact you again,” he added, his tone growing a little acerbic.</p><p>“I didn’t say that,” Gintoki shook his head. “It seems a little reckless on your part, though. Are you sure you want a homeless guy loitering around your place—Why in the fresh hell are you just eating mayo with a spoon?!”</p><p>“I had you checked out.” Hijikata’s face did not change as he set the spoon down. “I know that you’ve gone bankrupt several years ago and have been homeless since then. I know that you have no criminal record, and that you never caused any trouble – that is, besides camping out in public parks. I knew your name, too – earlier, I only asked for formalities’ sake.”</p><p>Gintoki narrowed his eyes. “Okay, now <em>that </em>is creepy.”</p><p>“It’s as you said,” Hijikata looked at him. “I can’t just let anyone wander in. That would be dangerous, and I’m not an idiot.”</p><p>Gintoki huffed. “Fair enough,” he raised his hands in the air briefly. “Why me, though?”</p><p>“It didn’t <em>have </em>to be you,” Hijikata shook his head. “I just needed to find someone the people around me didn’t know. I figured that you, having nothing but a bunch of dirty blankets to your name, would be an easy target.”</p><p>“Wow,” Gintoki muttered. “That’s… kinda cold.”</p><p>Hijikata shrugged. “I told you that I was going to be upfront.” Reaching for his coffee again, he added, “If you can put up a convincing act, then I’ll pay you for as long as you can manage to go along with me.”</p><p>“A convincing act?” Gintoki parroted.</p><p>“Do you think you can’t?”</p><p>“Now hold on, I did not say that,” Gintoki shook his head vehemently. “Don’t get me wrong, if I can get paid for that, then I’m on board, but—”</p><p>“But?” Hijikata was now frowning a little.</p><p>“—but I have no idea what to do!” Gintoki gestured between the two of them nervously. “I mean, how do we convince people about something like that? That you and I—” he hesitated. “We know nothing about each other!”</p><p>“That’s why I’m officially on vacation this month,” Hijikata replied, shrugging his shoulders again. “Though I was hoping to have more time. We’ll do what we can. I’ll dress you up, teach you how to behave, you’ll get your money,” he pointed at Gintoki, “and after this is done and over with, I don’t care where you go or what you do.”</p><p>“This month… Wait, what date is it?” Gintoki asked. Hijikata pointed at a wall calendar wordlessly.</p><p>“We have less than a week?!”</p><p>“Yes,” Hijikata said, “which is why I thought it’d be best to hurry things along, at least a little.” He got up and walked around the coffee table to sit next to Gintoki. “You and I will be sharing this place, but that’s not enough to make this believable.”</p><p>Gintoki stiffened up when Hijikata’s forefinger stabbed him in his chest.</p><p>“You should get used to calling me by name,” Hijikata began listing, “casual touches, sleeping in the same bed, remembering each other’s likings and habits, and also learning some manners. There’s a chance we might have to kiss as well at some point.”</p><p>“You’re a guy,” Gintoki objected.</p><p>“It’s a necessary evil.” Hijikata’s face was serious. “We’re going to practice all of that, and if you don’t like the idea—”</p><p>“I know, I know,” Gintoki interrupted him. “The door’s right there.”</p><p>“Exactly.” Hijikata stared him dead in the eye. “You’re free to go back to being homeless whenever you like.”</p><p>Gintoki ruffled his hair, then gave Hijikata the once-over. “<em>Fine</em>,” he sighed, “I’ll do it.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Breezy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Excellent.” Satisfied with that response, Hijikata got up, his mug in his hand. “You’re going to have to keep up appearances when going outside, though; don’t forget that. I don’t mind being labelled as gay, but I won’t allow you to make people think I would date someone <em>sloppy</em>.”</p><p>“I don’t know, man. Sounds like you need to set your priorities straight,” Gintoki stretched.</p><p>“Right now,” Hijikata responded flatly, “I’m setting my priorities <em>gay</em>, and you’re tagging along for the ride.”</p><p>“Good point,” Gintoki chuckled and got up. “Think you could lend me some clothes?” he asked, shifting his towel a little.</p><p>“Let’s do that first,” Hijikata nodded. Still carrying his coffee, he led Gintoki through the flat wordlessly, passing through the bedroom and finally reaching the closet door.</p><p>Gintoki walked in and looked around. “You’re so rich that your clothes get their own room?!” he turned to Hijikata. “You’re not some kind of gangster, are you? Gin-san doesn’t want to get sold for organs or something!”</p><p>Hijikata’s eyebrow twitched. “I’m the CEO of a fairly successful company. You don’t have to do anything illegal to be making this kind of money. Though,” he then added sourly, “seeing as you went bankrupt and had not picked yourself up since, you probably know nothing about that.”</p><p>“That, right there,” Gintoki pointed at him, “was uncalled for. If we’re supposed to be lovers, you need to be nicer to me, Hijikata-kun.” He looked around again. “Do you have anything casual? You look like you’d eat me alive if I spilt something on one of your formal shirts. No offence.”</p><p>Hijikata let out a huff. “Some taken,” he said as he walked past Gintoki to point out a narrower wardrobe. “Anything that’s in here,” he said. “Also, this should go without saying, but if we go anywhere together, I’ll be choosing your clothes.”</p><p>“I’m okay with that,” Gintoki shrugged his shoulders and came closer to open the wardrobe in question. Hijikata stepped away to give him space, rolling his eyes when he saw the way Gintoki began rifling through it.</p><p>“My housekeeper won’t be coming until next month, so try not to make too much of a mess,” he said, his tone a little weary now.</p><p>“You have a housekeeper?” Gintoki stopped creating chaos inside Hijikata’s wardrobe and turned around. “Please tell me you have a butler, too. Named, like…” he hesitated briefly, “Sebastian or something.”</p><p>“I don’t have a butler,” Hijikata shook his head. “Just a housekeeper. She does some basic cleaning, and sometimes cooks for me.”</p><p>“Is she pretty?” Gintoki pulled out a pair of trousers.</p><p>“First of all,” Hijikata frowned, “she’s sixty-seven. Second of all, even if she weren’t, it’s none of your business. I won’t be dating a cheater.”</p><p>“Strict, aren’t you,” Gintoki chuckled. “Alright, I’ll do my best.”</p><p>“Good.” Hijikata took a sip of his coffee, pulling a face when he found that it was lukewarm at best. “We should probably also get our story straight ahead of time,” he then added, watching Gintoki pull a T-shirt over his head.</p><p>“Get our story <em>gay</em>, you mean,” Gintoki said as he straightened the hem of the T-shirt he chose.</p><p>“It’s not as funny when you say it,” Hijikata replied indifferently, “but yes, that too. How we met, why we decided to date, and other things we might get asked about.”</p><p>Gintoki said nothing, looking at Hijikata.</p><p>“You good?” Hijikata asked.</p><p>“Feels a little… breezy,” Gintoki gestured around his nether regions, making an uncomfortable expression.</p><p>“I’m not letting you use my underwear,” Hijikata stated firmly.</p><p>“You know that doesn’t make sense, right?” Gintoki tilted his head. “If you leave me like this, my dick is gonna be swinging freely inside—”</p><p>“Okay, that’s enough,” Hijikata interrupted him. “Your underwear is going to be the first thing on our shopping list. Until then, you’re going to have to bear with it.”</p><p>Gintoki shrugged his shoulders. “Alright,” he said. “What’s next?”</p><p>Hijikata sighed heavily and downed the rest of his coffee in one go. “I think I’ll tell you after breakfast.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my IG: @rison_iinekin</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. For Later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re not eating?” Gintoki asked with his mouth full.</p><p>Hijikata eyed him and showed a displeased face. “No,” he replied curtly and took another sip of his second cup of coffee. He was reading a newspaper, not really paying attention to Gintoki’s antics as he was sitting on the couch, one leg casually resting over the other.</p><p>“So I’m supposed to eat all of this myself?” Gintoki gestured at the several dishes in front of him.</p><p>“You need to gain some weight,” Hijikata said, turning a page. “Given your situation, you didn’t have proper nutrition, and you’re in a sorry state. I could count your ribs.”</p><p>“Well, not that I’m complaining,” Gintoki shrugged his shoulders and continued stuffing his face. “I don’t wanna get fat, though,” he then said after swallowing what he had in his mouth.</p><p>“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Hijikata peeked over the newspaper again. “I won’t let you.”</p><p>“Should I be scared?” Gintoki briefly lowered his chopsticks.</p><p>“I have a gym here,” Hijikata said emotionlessly. “You’ll be using it. We don’t know how long we’re going to have to keep this farce up, and I’ll make sure to turn you into top tier boyfriend material before I show my face with you in public.”</p><p>“Are you seriously planning to do that?” Gintoki tilted his head in a questioning manner as he took a toothpick and put it to use. “Wouldn’t that damage your reputation?”</p><p>Hijikata smirked. “Hardly. It’s not like I’m planning to shout it from the rooftops,” he said, folding the newspaper in half and setting it aside, “I’m just going to make sure it reaches the right ears. If they want to maintain good business relations with me, they’ll have to swallow that bitter pill and accept that none of their daughters is going to be living under my roof.”</p><p>“Aha, so it’s just the snobs,” Gintoki sniffled, scratching under his nose. “You know what’s funny?” he said then as he resumed eating.</p><p>“What?” Hijikata leaned back, his coffee in his hand.</p><p>“That you don’t want a woman here so much that you picked me off the street. I know that you had me checked out or whatever,” Gintoki mused, “but you still can’t be sure that I won’t pack your…” he hesitated briefly, “…uh, fancy watches, or something, and take off the moment you stop watching me.”</p><p>Hijikata’s eyes remained steely cold. “You can’t leave here without me,” he said simply. “The door is locked, and even if you managed to break out, the guard downstairs would stop you if you happened to behave suspiciously. There are cameras around the building, too. I didn’t bring you here on blind trust.”</p><p>Gintoki stopped eating, and his brows creased. “You did – but on mine. What the hell? So I’m your prisoner now?”</p><p>“No,” Hijikata shook his head. “As I’ve told you already – the moment you decide you don’t want to do this anymore, all you need to do is tell me, and I’ll let you leave. I’d appreciate it if you stayed, though. Looking for a substitute at this stage would get problematic.”</p><p>For a while, Gintoki stared at the unfinished meal in front of him, contemplating. “<em>Alright</em>,” he growled, “but you’d better promise that you’ll let me walk out if I change my mind.”</p><p>“I promise.” Hijikata did not show a sign of hesitation. “I have no reason to hold you here otherwise, after all.”</p><p>“No other agenda, huh,” Gintoki murmured, staring into his bowl with about a spoonful of rice remaining in there.</p><p>“None.” Hijikata calmly took another sip of his coffee.</p><p>“I gotta say, that’s a bit disappointing.” Gintoki let out a small chuckle. “I would have expected, I dunno, <em>something</em>.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Rich people’s whims.” Gintoki finished his rice and leaned back as well with a sated expression. “I’ve never been on this side, so I don’t know what you guys do in your free time. For all I know, you could have some really nasty hobbies.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t.” Hijikata eyed Gintoki again, frowning when he saw that Gintoki had bits of food stuck around his mouth. “You should go wash your face. And just so you know,” he added when Gintoki got up, unenthused, “while you here it’s fine, but if we’re outside together, you’re going to eat like a human.”</p><p>“Okay, jeez,” Gintoki walked over to the kitchen corner and did his best to get rid of anything that got stuck to his skin. “So, what do you want me to do now?” he then said, wiping his face with his sleeve.</p><p>Hijikata’s eyebrow cocked, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he said, “as I said before, we need to quickly get used to each other. Casual touches are probably the most important thing, and for that, we need to stick close together.”</p><p>“No problem for me,” Gintoki shrugged and walked over to Hijikata, sitting down so close that their shoulders were touching.</p><p>“Somehow I got that impression,” Hijikata said with a frown, “but it <em>is </em>a problem for me. I’m not used to… people,” he drew out a little, gesturing between himself and Gintoki. He was tense, and his brows were furrowed.</p><p>A mischievous glint appeared in Gintoki’s eye; to his misfortune, Hijikata was looking away, so he didn’t catch it.</p><p>The next thing he knew, he got tackled onto a couch, and Gintoki loomed over him. “You ticklish?”</p><p>“Don’t you dare—” Hijikata began, but did not manage to say anything else before Gintoki’s fingers assaulted his sides. He tried to struggle but didn’t manage, and with tears in his eyes, he could only laugh until everything ached.</p><p>“Fuck… off,” he wheezed after several minutes. He couldn’t really see Gintoki anymore, everything was blurry, and he felt he lacked air as well.</p><p>Gintoki finally stopped. “Doesn’t seem like you hate human contact,” he said, mirth sparkling in his eyes still.</p><p>“If you do that again, I’m kicking you out,” Hijikata wheezed as he attempted to sit up weakly.</p><p>Gintoki backed away, but as soon as they were both sitting, he pulled Hijikata closer. “You said we should practice,” he pointed out, “so, let’s.”</p><p>“I think that’s… enough practice for now,” Hijikata pushed against Gintoki a little. “I think I need a break.”</p><p>“Come on, you said we should practice kissing as well,” Gintoki said, his eyes narrowing a little.</p><p>Hijikata paled in the face. “Right off the bat?”</p><p>“You said so yourself – we don’t have much time.”</p><p>“I did say that,” Hijikata admitted. “This does make the situation easier, though—” he began, but then, Gintoki’s mouth ate away anything else he might have wanted to say.</p><p>Gintoki leaned in a bit more, moulding his lips against Hijikata’s own softly. Hijikata grunted, pressing his palm against Gintoki’s chest, but he didn’t struggle – instead, he allowed this to happen, though begrudgingly. Only when Gintoki’s fingers slipped under his collar did he jerk away.</p><p>“O–kay, that’s enough,” he declared, pushing against Gintoki’s shoulders. “I need to beat some manners into you first. We can…” he cleared his throat, “we can leave this for later.”</p>
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